“Was using bleach and the bottle fell, burst and got into my eye. Might have permanent damage.”

“You’re probably wondering how I got here…”

“Good morning.”

“Paid $11 for a sandwich from panera and got bread, one slice of roast beef, and a tiny amount of cheese…”

“Heard a big bang out of nowhere. Ran down the stairs to find the kitchen like this.”

“Right after finishing our fence, someone plowed through it.”

Wallet VS Lawnmower

“Finding cinnamon sugar shrimp tails in your cinnamon toast crunch.”

“Welp kids, I forgot to roll up my window before a blizzard.”

“Sitting here for over an hour waiting to be Interviewed.’

“County is doing some road work and someone in charge figured parking the excavator on my front lawn would be just fine.”

“Not sure what I did to piss the birds off today but….”

“A hot, fresh lasagne in my favourite dish.”

No description needed…

“Finished sorting my cards! And then I fell..”

“For a crispier crust, bake directly on oven rack” my ass.”

“Excited to make bean and plantain tacos. Open two cans and find a total of five beans.”

“Bought $30 worth of truffles then got stuck in stand still traffic for 30 minutes.”

“Yes, that is an entire trash bag of dirty cat litter that broke over my foot.”

“My garage buzzer broke and now I’m trapped inside trying to go to work.”

No bueno.

“That time my son dropped his Kindle Fire on the way out of the doctor’s office.”

“My neighbor is doing some laundry…”